Thursday, January 26, 2012

Baby, I love you. But you make me huge.

I don't drive much. Jerry always drives. He prefers it that way, and so do I.

The result of this is that when I do drive, my skills have greatly decreased. This is especially true for parking. My parking skills are really quite embarrassing. I am that girl in the parking lot who re-parks 4 times, during which 4 separate sets of cars think they are going to get my spot until they realize that I am just an idiot.

The other night I was running late to teach a voice lesson on campus. Thankfully the lesson was at 7:00, which is also the time when all the parking becomes public. So I thought it would be no-big-deal for me to try parking in the staff parking in front of the HFAC. Well there must have been some big performance that night because at 6:58 the parking lot was already full with a dozen more cars roaming for spots. I was super upset because I was going to be late for my student. By some miracle I saw someone pulling out of a spot right in front of me! As soon as they left the spot I realized why.. they weren't leaving, they just couldn't fit in the parking space: the cars on either side of the space were both over the lines, making it just barely big enough for a car, but not for openable car doors.

I don't know what confidence came over me, but I decided I would try to fit in the spot. On my first try I was able to get into the spot! I was truly shocked at myself. My car door opened just enough for me to be able to get out, and there was just a few extra inches between my car, my body, and the car to the left of mine for me to be able to squeeze my body through.

I taught my lesson. I practiced this aria.

When I went back to my car the car to left of mine left and had been replaced by another. There were still cars scowering the parking lot. Someone even spotted me walking and followed me to my spot. When I saw my car I was horrified. The car to the left of mine had literally parked 18 inches away from mine. I knew there was little chance that I would be able to fit between the cars, but with the car waiting to take my parking spot, I felt some performance anxiety and decided to just try(since it worked out when I parked a few hours earlier). I was successful in getting my 39-weeks pregnant body between the cars, but once my car door was open, it was physically impossible for me to get in the car.

So I decided I would try going through the passenger's side and climb over to the driver's seat. When I started to walk around the car I could see that there were 3 cars behind the car waiting for my spot. Thankfully, there was plenty of room for me to be able to get into the passenger's side. Once I got in the car, I realized that the "climb" over to the driver's side is not something a person in my condition should ever really attempt. It took pushing and leaning the seat all the way back, and adjusting the steering wheel all the way up to allow for there to be enough room for my huge, inflexible body to get over to the driver's side. By the time I got everything back to normal and pulled out of my spot there were even more cars waiting for me.

I am used to having cars wait on me because of my lack of parking ability, not because of my lack of fitting-into-my-own-car ability.

5 comments:

Jilli-Billi said...

This is awesome. I had so many wonderful mental pictures of you while reading this post!

Ashley Lund said...

hahaha. oh danielle. i love you. and i know i'll feel for you in a couple of months! im only 22 weeks and i already feel huge. i dont look huge though...i can't imagine being practically full term...i will feel like i'm busting at the seams i'm sure! i can't wait till you hvae your baby!!!

Alyssa Jacobs said...

I love this :) so excited for you and your little one!

Suzanne said...

Oooooo. Been there. Done that (Really). Got a couple of that T-shirt. I'm a horrific parker too. Taken out side view mirrors, run over sidewalks. Yep. Delighted your teaching. Delighted your still on your feet. You are a marvelous writer.

Suzy said...

hahahahahaha i LOVE it.