Friday, August 22, 2008

"Sorry about the mess guys.."

On my walk to work today I noticed a police car. It just so happened that my path allowed me to be very close to said vehicle. So what did I do? What any normal U.S. citizen would do: look inside. I have never been inside a cop car, of course, so the idea intrigues me.

Now, this wasn't my first experience peeking inside a police car so I pretty much knew what to expect: the dividing grid, radar gun, steering wheel, donuts.. you know, the norm. So I immediately noticed that this car was a little different. In addition to having a divider between the back and front of the car, there was a divider between the two back seats, making 2 little human cages. But this is not what caught me off guard.

What astonished me was that these human cages were filled with crap. It looked like the back of a normal college car. There were stacks of papers, empty pop bottles, sweaters, and a halfway-buried radar gun.

I noticed that my feet had stopped moving and that my mouth was a little agape. My first thought was "is there really zero crime in Provo, which allows this officer to leave his car incapable of transporting criminals?"

Can you imagine what is going to happen when that officer finally has to put someone in the back of his car?
"Sorry it's so messy.. Let me just stick some of this in my trunk.. I swear it was clean a few days ago, I have been so busy.. Just move whatever you need to, I don't mind." And he says all this with that typical embarrassed tone that we've all heard while piling into a friend's car.

o, provo police.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I love life. Period.

A recent conversations had over a pie tin of Skyline chili dip:

Jerry: Did you know there was a woman who thought she was pregnant, but it ended up just being a tumor?
Audrey, Dave, Me: Wow, that is crazy, poor lady!!, nervous laughter
Me: I dont get it... wouldn't she have known she wasn't pregnant? I mean she would have still had her period and stuff.
Audrey: Well there are rare cases where you still have your period.
Me: Really?!?! That sucks. That is like the only reason I want to get pregnant.
Audrey: You know they have pills for that kind of stuff. You can go four months without a cycle.

awkward pause

Jerry(to Dave): So what's your favorite car?
Dave: Something with a lot of horsepower. Something really manly.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

What do you want to be when you grow up?

So I've been thinking a lot lately about these things called life plans. Mostly my thoughts seem to gravitate towards the fact that I have none. Well I have plans, but not for my life. Well, I do, but they all seem so rocky right now.. and it stresses me out. For instance: I want to major in Classical Vocal Performance, but if by some miracle I do get in, I will be in school for 6 years, and that just seems like crazy-talk to me. But I do have back-up plans. I am starting a Communications major and a Sociology major.. now realistically, I should only start one.. because that is THREE majors, but no, me being me, and not having good life plans: I am doing three majors. Now someone might read this and think to themself, "That doesn't seem like the worst thing in the world, I wished I was interested in three things enough to want to major in all of them." To you that is thinking this: do not be deceived. I am completely dreading all three of these things, that is why I have three, I do not want to commit to any of them and dig myself in a deep hole.. so instead I am digging three shallow holes.. so in the end I am going to die of dehydration because I never got deep enough to get the water from my well.
It is so pathetic that I have such an easy lifestyle, and am surrounded with support and people that love me, and yet, I feel so uneasy constantly.
Gr. Life Plans.