Friday, February 14, 2014

Five Years!

So this blog over the past few years has really been boiled down to documenting only really important events, and this post is no different!
Five years ago I said, "yes," across an alter in the temple of the Lord to spend eternity with Jeremiah. I had only known him for eight months, but I had never been more sure of any decision in my life than to marry him. 
There was a huge snow storm the day we were married. It was beautiful.

We have been through the thick and the thin together, but I know even happier and harder times are ahead of us. I feel immensely grateful everyday that I get to experience this existence with Jerry by my side. We really have made a good team!
So here are ten pieces of marriage advice that I can give, now that I am an expert. Some of these things I have painfully learned, some of these are things we implemented from the beginning, all of these things Jerry is much better at than I. :)

How to stay happily married for (at least) 5 years

1. Humility
This is definitely number one.
Okay, so I wrote out a huge explanation of this, but I will leave it to this:
Ask to be forgiven right away
Don't harbor ill-feelings
Know that your spouse isn't trying to hurt you (not everything is about you!)

2. Forgiveness

3. Don't sweat the small stuff
For realsies. Sometimes Jerry will do something that drives me BONKERS. But I have made a policy for myself: If it is something that really is just a habit or personality trait that is not harming me, or essentially bad, then I don't say anything. I pray to not let it bother me. And nine times out of ten, the annoyance passes and it becomes something that I love about him. I have seen quite a few relationships where there was constant communication about what annoys you about the other person and constant compromise. I feel like that would just squash someone's spirit. To be told that the way they do things, or how they were raised, or their inherent personality is wrong , bad, annoying could crush a person. And I married Jerry as-is. Not as a placeholder for what I imagined him as.

4. Communication
This goes with #1. The most important thing about this is to communicate your wants and needs. Your spouse can't read your mind. Don't play games trying to get your spouse to fulfill your desires. Tell them. examples: "Hey, I know it doesn't look like it, but I have worked really hard today at trying to keep the house clean. Can you compliment me on my hard work?" or "I'm feeling grumpy. Can you pick me up a Dr. Pepper on the way home?" or "I'm stressed. I would really like it if you would help me cook, that would help me feel less stressed." (okay, all of those are real life examples from the past month, haha)

5. Make spirituality an integral part of your marriage.
Pray together. Read scriptures together. Talk about God together. Every day.

6. Never speak badly of one another.

7. Go to bed at the same time.

8. Make goals together. Achieve them together.

9. Have hobbies and activities you do together. Have your own hobbies and activities you do apart.
10. Be generous in compliments and sweet nothings :)

I'm sure there is more, but this is what is coming to mind this morning. 

I love you, Jerry. You have made me better. Thanks for making me laugh and letting me cry. Thanks for being patient and understanding. I never knew marriage could be this fun and fulfilling. I'm glad we have eternity together!

11. Marry a model.