seeing clearly

Ever since my brother started doing window cleaning I notice windows. Well, I notice dirty windows. It is pretty much a curse. Everywhere I look there is dirt and dust all gettin up in windows' business, and it is gross. I am grateful to go to a university that cleans their windows. I am very ungrateful to live in an apartment complex that has more important things to do than clean their windows, and they don't even do those more important things! And this brings me to another subject. WE ARE MOVING. Two blocks away, that is. But hey! No more crummy management and grumpy neighbors who yell at us and leave notes on our car!

Out with the old and in with the new!

This past month has been a pretty eventful one in the Hale home.

Jerry (unfortunately) got news of the MPA program. Even though it wasn't what we wanted, we are happy to know so that we can start coming up with more life plans! Well at least I am. Sometimes I just sit back and think about the type of decisions I have to make compared to most 21 year old women, and it makes me feel a little too grown-up.

We sold our contract!! And hopefully got the apartment we wanted, although that is still forthcoming news.

But that means we are moving out of our ward. :( Which makes me sad, if you couldn't tell by the frowny face. We have been in the same ward since we were first married and I LOVE our bishop. I think we will start going to a family ward though, so that will be a nice change. And maybe I can go under the radar and NOT be called as ward choir director. Although I have a feeling that I will continue to be called as one until I enjoy it...

I had my last Singers concert of the year. Being in Singers has been a HUGE commitment. I knew being in it meant 6 hours of rehearsal a week. plus 12 or so concerts. But I had no idea the amount of physical, emotional, and spiritual commitment it was going to be. I have been seriously debating whether I want to do it next year since it will be a tour year, and will be even harder. but I think I will. But don't quote me on that.

Only two more weeks until vocal juries and finals! Then we will move into our new apartment and I will start Spring term (which I found out today that I got more grants for, THANK YOU OBAMA).

Sorry. My posts usually seem to be lists. And I know that's boring.

Auditions

Just a little over an hour ago I had my audition for both the spring and fall operas(at BYU).

Usually after an audition I can remember every little puny thing I did wrong, or the expression on someone's face, or that my accompanist missed a note. Usually when I perform my senses are super heightened, and I can commit everything I see/do to memory.

Today? Well, that a whole 'nuther bucket of worms! I cannot remember a SINGLE thing that happened. Okay, that's not entirely true. But I only have shadows of memories. I remember that I made up words at one point, but I don't remember where or how long... or how bad I was at making up the German.

I wish it was just a fluke that this happened. But it wasn't. I think for the first time ever(or at least in recent memory) I was totally blinded by anger. Just a few minutes before my audition I was at work, and a lot of things happened that made me really upset. This isn't very out of the ordinary, but today I just let those things get to me. So before my audition I found a private place to pray that God would take away my anger and forgive me for being so angry. But by the end of my prayer my heart was still pounding unnaturally hard and my eyes were still blurry—I wasn't willing to stop being angry.

I am so glad that the Lord is so forgiving, and that He can help me to be more humble and forgiving. But I also know that the Lord cannot change our hearts unless we let him—and I wasn't letting Him.

I don't ever want to be angry like that again. I am glad I experienced that anger in such a memorable way so that I will be able to easily recall the situation and feelings so I can try to avoid them in the future.

So I probably didn't get the role which I was hoping for. But I did get a greater understanding of the Lord's hand in my life. And I learned that choosing to be angry is destructive.

I'm Legal

That's right. Yesterday I turned 21.

It was an awesome day! Full of many loving, thoughtful surprises! I was served breakfast in bed, then I skipped both of my morning classes. I went to work where I was showered with various forms of chocolates and 1 Izzy. Then I went to Singers where, traditionally, 3 people talked about how great I am, and it made me feel very special. Then I worked some more and then I treated myself to wrap from L & T, and it was incredible. Then I got ready for opera scenes, and then I performed! It was awesome! We had at least 100 kids there, so the energy was amazing and they all had such great reactions. I am excited to do it again on Friday. Then Jerry and I went out for some steak dinners. And then I came home and opened my presents... which were all clothes, which is good, since that is all I wanted! (O, and I also bought myself a French Art Song book which I needed/wanted).

Now back to the normal grind. I have a midterm today for a class that I have skipped more often than not, and for which I hae never done the reading for.. so wish me LUCK, because I wont be getting a good grade with knowledge, or hard work.

We made it!

Sunday was a great day! We didn't do anything "official" to celebrate our anniversary, we just did everyday things but called them special. i.e. I made dinner(although I will admit, it was the bomb) and Jerry played me some songs on his guitar. Mostly, it is so wonderful to know that we will be together for eternity.

On Monday I made Jerry a Brazilian dinner. I have spent weeks trying to find authentic recipes, but I pretty much found to do things really authentically I would have to fly down to Brazil and get all of their ingredients. I ended up making:
Brazilian rice
meat
lemonade
and pastels

I also got the stuff to make advacado shakes, which we have yet to make.

Some people have said that the first year of marriage is the hardest. If that is the case, then the rest of our lives are going to be a complete breeze! No, really, the people who say the first year is the hardest are probably lying. I bet the hardest is the 39th year or something, so I am waiting.

Relief!

Jeremiah is finished with his MPA application! I am a happier, more pleasant person to be around.

Child.

Last night Jerry decided to take off his sweater.

First, he got his arms out of the sleeves and then started spinning around singing, "Helicopter!"

Then the sweater started to creep up his body and eventually over his eyes.

Lastly, Jerry couldn't see and fell to the ground in terror as the helicopter turned from friend to foe.