Update

I have no idea what direction this post is going to take. So hold on to your seats!

School: I still have one year left. I got into the School of Music 2 years late... and it is a 4 year program which I am doing in 3 years and everyone thinks I'm crazy. I think I'm crazy too. But I love doing what I love every day. Jerry got into the MPA program at BYU! This is a big deal. I could not be prouder of him.

BYU Singers: We went to Chicago in March to sing at the ACDA convention. It was a great experience. We had a lot of free time. I did a lot of shopping and eating. The coolest part of the whole experience was getting stopped in the middle of Chicago and being asked if I was in Singers. We worked really hard on some crazy music and did it justice. Now we are leaving next Tuesday to go on tour to Colorado. It definitely is one of the least exotic places that Singers has toured to, but I'm sure it will still be a rewarding experience. I don't know if I will do Singers again next year (I was in this same dilemma last year too, ha) but if I do they will be going to England or China.

Dreams: Yes I still have crazy dreams all the time. In fact, last week I was sick and was only able to get really light sleep, and woke up every 15 minuets. So I had nights with dozens of crazy dreams.

Church: I have been choir director for almost a year, but I was just released. I was kind of sad to leave because my choir was just getting to be really good! I was finally not very nervous any more, and I was able to get more done in rehearsal and teach the choir how to make a really beautiful sound. This past Sunday we performed 3 pieces for Easter. I felt the Spirit so strongly as I was conducting and could feel it guiding me and the members of the choir. It was an edifying experience that I will never forget.

In addition to being director, Jeremiah and I have been primary teachers for the 5/6 year olds. We grew to love our class from last year, and were sad to see them move up at the year change, but we are learning to love our new class just as much. It is amazing what children can teach us. Our new class has 8 kids. EIGHT. They can be a hyper, busy bunch, but the moments when they really listen are so precious.

Marriage: (I give you permission to skip this paragraph if you are queasy) Jerry and I had our 2 year anniversary a few months ago! It is still weird to me that I am a married woman, but it is even weirder to think that there was a time when I wasn't married. I find something new to love about Jerry almost every day. I have found my life with him so far fulfilling in a way that I could have never imagined before. I feel so blessed that God has put this wonderful man in my life who loves me more than I feel that I deserve.

Future: This summer Jerry and I are both going to work 12 hour days 5 days a week! For 8 of those hours we will be together, which makes it much more bearable. Since Jerry starts grad school in the Fall and he isn't allowed to have a job, we figured we need all the money we can get. We still wont be able to avoid loans (unless we magically earn $50,000 this summer) but we want to avoid debt as much as possible! We are planning on doing a trip this summer, but haven't made any plans yet. If you hear of any cheap flights from SLC to ANYWHERE please share!

Ha! Now I don't owe any of you cookies.

Auditions

Just a little over an hour ago I had my audition for both the spring and fall operas(at BYU).

Usually after an audition I can remember every little puny thing I did wrong, or the expression on someone's face, or that my accompanist missed a note. Usually when I perform my senses are super heightened, and I can commit everything I see/do to memory.

Today? Well, that a whole 'nuther bucket of worms! I cannot remember a SINGLE thing that happened. Okay, that's not entirely true. But I only have shadows of memories. I remember that I made up words at one point, but I don't remember where or how long... or how bad I was at making up the German.

I wish it was just a fluke that this happened. But it wasn't. I think for the first time ever(or at least in recent memory) I was totally blinded by anger. Just a few minutes before my audition I was at work, and a lot of things happened that made me really upset. This isn't very out of the ordinary, but today I just let those things get to me. So before my audition I found a private place to pray that God would take away my anger and forgive me for being so angry. But by the end of my prayer my heart was still pounding unnaturally hard and my eyes were still blurry—I wasn't willing to stop being angry.

I am so glad that the Lord is so forgiving, and that He can help me to be more humble and forgiving. But I also know that the Lord cannot change our hearts unless we let him—and I wasn't letting Him.

I don't ever want to be angry like that again. I am glad I experienced that anger in such a memorable way so that I will be able to easily recall the situation and feelings so I can try to avoid them in the future.

So I probably didn't get the role which I was hoping for. But I did get a greater understanding of the Lord's hand in my life. And I learned that choosing to be angry is destructive.

I'm Legal

That's right. Yesterday I turned 21.

It was an awesome day! Full of many loving, thoughtful surprises! I was served breakfast in bed, then I skipped both of my morning classes. I went to work where I was showered with various forms of chocolates and 1 Izzy. Then I went to Singers where, traditionally, 3 people talked about how great I am, and it made me feel very special. Then I worked some more and then I treated myself to wrap from L & T, and it was incredible. Then I got ready for opera scenes, and then I performed! It was awesome! We had at least 100 kids there, so the energy was amazing and they all had such great reactions. I am excited to do it again on Friday. Then Jerry and I went out for some steak dinners. And then I came home and opened my presents... which were all clothes, which is good, since that is all I wanted! (O, and I also bought myself a French Art Song book which I needed/wanted).

Now back to the normal grind. I have a midterm today for a class that I have skipped more often than not, and for which I hae never done the reading for.. so wish me LUCK, because I wont be getting a good grade with knowledge, or hard work.

Relief!

Jeremiah is finished with his MPA application! I am a happier, more pleasant person to be around.