Baby, I love you. But you make me huge.

I don't drive much. Jerry always drives. He prefers it that way, and so do I.

The result of this is that when I do drive, my skills have greatly decreased. This is especially true for parking. My parking skills are really quite embarrassing. I am that girl in the parking lot who re-parks 4 times, during which 4 separate sets of cars think they are going to get my spot until they realize that I am just an idiot.

The other night I was running late to teach a voice lesson on campus. Thankfully the lesson was at 7:00, which is also the time when all the parking becomes public. So I thought it would be no-big-deal for me to try parking in the staff parking in front of the HFAC. Well there must have been some big performance that night because at 6:58 the parking lot was already full with a dozen more cars roaming for spots. I was super upset because I was going to be late for my student. By some miracle I saw someone pulling out of a spot right in front of me! As soon as they left the spot I realized why.. they weren't leaving, they just couldn't fit in the parking space: the cars on either side of the space were both over the lines, making it just barely big enough for a car, but not for openable car doors.

I don't know what confidence came over me, but I decided I would try to fit in the spot. On my first try I was able to get into the spot! I was truly shocked at myself. My car door opened just enough for me to be able to get out, and there was just a few extra inches between my car, my body, and the car to the left of mine for me to be able to squeeze my body through.

I taught my lesson. I practiced this aria.

When I went back to my car the car to left of mine left and had been replaced by another. There were still cars scowering the parking lot. Someone even spotted me walking and followed me to my spot. When I saw my car I was horrified. The car to the left of mine had literally parked 18 inches away from mine. I knew there was little chance that I would be able to fit between the cars, but with the car waiting to take my parking spot, I felt some performance anxiety and decided to just try(since it worked out when I parked a few hours earlier). I was successful in getting my 39-weeks pregnant body between the cars, but once my car door was open, it was physically impossible for me to get in the car.

So I decided I would try going through the passenger's side and climb over to the driver's seat. When I started to walk around the car I could see that there were 3 cars behind the car waiting for my spot. Thankfully, there was plenty of room for me to be able to get into the passenger's side. Once I got in the car, I realized that the "climb" over to the driver's side is not something a person in my condition should ever really attempt. It took pushing and leaning the seat all the way back, and adjusting the steering wheel all the way up to allow for there to be enough room for my huge, inflexible body to get over to the driver's side. By the time I got everything back to normal and pulled out of my spot there were even more cars waiting for me.

I am used to having cars wait on me because of my lack of parking ability, not because of my lack of fitting-into-my-own-car ability.

The L-Word

Before Jerry and I ever liked each other I would drop by his apartment every once in a while. This was because it was my brother's old apartment so I knew some of the guys (namely, Patrick). One day while I was there I happened to mention to the group of boys that, "I will never tell any boy I 'love' him until we are engaged." It was true. I felt so strongly about that word.. love. I didn't just want to toss it around!

Fast forward a couple months. Jerry and I had been dating for about a month. We spent every waking moment possible together. And when we were both at work we would IM each other constantly. So really the only time we spent apart was when we were sleeping. I really liked him. a lot. I was scared. I kept on remembering my creed/goal/standard to never say "I love you." And I wanted to break it sooo bad. But there was a fundamental problem. Jerry was present when I told that group of boys about my feelings about that love word. I had no idea if he was paying attention when it happened, or if he even remembered it. But in my mind I knew that if he remembered and I dropped the l-bomb on him, he would think that I wanted to get married.

We started saying stuff to each other like, "I just think you are really cool." But with all this meaning. It was juvenile. But, for me, it was what I had to do to get by without the l-word.

After a Saturday full of swimming and having fun, we went to Doc's pizza. In a college town full of cheap places to eat with sub-par food, this place takes the cake for the worst food. Of course, to Jerry it meant endless helpings of pizza, cinnamon buns, and rootbeer, so the quality of the food was not important. I was not very impressed, but accepted the fact that Jerry was indeed a bachelor and this place was good to him.

Although the food did not please me, the entertainment did. There were a few other tables of people there. And they were all filled with.. for lack of a better word.. white trash. We had lots of fun people-watching and commenting on odd behaviors. While laughing at one particularly funny observance I made, Jerry said, mid-laugh, "Oh, Danielle, I love you." His tone was very jovial and he said it in a way that you would say to any person you thought was funny.

But my mind raced. I stopped laughing and immediately snapped back, "What did you just say?" (I said it with extra emphasis on the t of 'what')

Jerry stopped laughing. He looked at me and gave me a smirk. "I love you."

My heart stopped. I thought I was going to throw-up. (It's hard to say whether it was from food poisoning or extreme shock) Without saying anything, I ran to the ladies' room.

I remember looking in the mirror. My cheeks were red from spending the whole day in the sun. I wasn't wearing any makeup. My hair was frizzy, wild, and smelled like chlorine. Did he really love me? Or was he just clarifying what he just said? Did he remember that day when I told about my feelings about the l-word? If he did, does that mean he wants to marry me? How many girls had he told this to before? It seemed so easy for him! Maybe it was just because he was simply clarifying what he said...

I splashed some water on my face and tried making my hair look half-way presentable. Whether he loved me or not, Jerry deserved at least not to be seen in public with a crazy girl.. even if it was only by people with less than 12 teeth..

I decided to play it cool when I went and sat back down with Jerry. As if nothing significant had just happened, because for all I knew, Jerry thought that nothing had.

We went back to our apartment complex where there was a group of people organizing a game of Fugitive. Jerry and I went into his apartment and told some friends to come get us when they were actually ready to play. We sat on the apartment couch. All of a sudden it hit me. I had to do it. I had to say it. I might burst if I didn't. I started shaking my legs slightly to get rid of some of the adrenaline that was suddenly pumping through my body. We just sat in silence. I felt like my lungs were being compressed, and that my heart was pumping out of my body. I was so nervous. I finally said, "I want to say something."

"Okay.." he said.

"Um... Jerry... Jeremiah, Iloveyou." And then I puffed out a big gush of air.

He gave a slight chuckle and said, "I love you, too." And then, "Is that why you've been shaking?"

"Yes! You tricked me into saying it! I was so nervous!"

"What? How did I trick you into saying that?"

"At the restaurant, you told me that you loved me! But I couldn't tell if you meant it or not. And I don't want you to think that we have to get married or anything. I just really like you, and I think it is really love, and I thought you deserved to know," I blurted out.

We were then interrupted by Craig opening the door to get us for the game. The game lasted for a while. It was a lot of fun. Jerry and I stuck together. We were both a little nervous about what just happened, but we didn't talk about it. Later that night when Jerry kissed me goodnight he added, "I love you."

I opened my apartment door. I must have looked terrible. My whole perception of what I thought love was was completely upside-down. I was confused. But I was also so happy. My roommate Audrey looked at me and said, "Is there something wrong? Did you and Jerry fight? You were both acting weird during Fugitive."

"No, actually, there is nothing wrong. In fact, it's the opposite. We told each other 'I love you.'"

I think Audrey tried to summon up some excitement for me. But I think she was mostly still weirded out. Every milestone in Jerry and mine's relationship never seemed to impress her. She now claims that she knew we were going to get married.

I have since found out that Jerry did remember me preaching about my philosophy on saying love. He claims that he was confident that he could break me of that. Also, he says that when he told me “I love you”(the second time) in Doc’s that he said it because he meant it, but he also said it out of jest because he knew that I didn’t want to say it. That little punk! I hate him.

Now we tell each other "I love you" at least a few dozen times every day. I think once our kids are old enough they are going to be so embarrassed with our frequent use of the phrase.

A conversation over burnt chocolate chip pancakes

D: I feel so bad for the girls in then 14-15 yr. old group at EFY, they are all so cute and all the boys that they are with look like they are 10.

J: Yeah, I feel bad for them too.

D: I remember at that age it seems like only a few boys actually want to have girls as friends, but every girls wants to have guy friends.

J: I don't even remember that period of my life.

D: what, because you had so many...

J: No, because I had no friends.

Just a little shut eye.

OK: I just want to say 'sorry' for my last entry. I got many complaints about how the point that Jeremiah is the cutest husband ever was, in fact, not proven at all. The point is THAT IT WAS PROVEN IN MY HEART.

hm. So I thought that once Jerry and I were married all problems would be fixed RE: our laziness. This assumption was indeed FALSE. sad, huh? The only redeeming part about all of this is that instead of staying up together until curfew and getting nothing productive done, we now stay up until about 10:30 and get nothing done. So at least we are getting more sleep.

While we are on the topic of sleep. I have a story! I hope it sounds as funny as it really was, but it probably wont(just like my last failed story trying to prove to ya'll how cute jerry is). So I guess I am not quite adjusted to sleeping with a man yet. I mean, we've adjusted in certain ways--like how we both like the covers, who sleeps on what side, and whatnot. But waking up and seeing Jerry right next to me and sometimes even [touching] me kind of takes me off guard. Just the other morning I happened to stir before our alarm went off. There I was half awake, and I hear a little cough next to me. I rolled over quickly and what was there?!??!?! A MAN!!! I screamed. Make fun of me, but that is what I did.
Later that morning when our alarm went off I opened my eyes to see.. WHAT? A MAN!!! staring straight at me!! like 3 inches away from my face!! Now some may say that that is a tender moment and that I should cherish it("I love waking up next to you and seeing your face"(eye flutter)). Needless to say, I did not cherish that moment, but I'm pretty sure Jerry cherished the memory of me jumping and screaming. good for him, I guess.





DISCLAIMER: I do enjoy Jerry's presence in the morning, and his face isnt scary. I am just easily startled.

Hi.

So, I'm pretty sure only 5 people read this.. and they already know everything I am about to say.. but I am avoiding studying so I am going to post an update on my life!(plus.. there is a lot of new stuff anyway!)

Well, I got engaged
Was birthed 2 nephews
Got into the music program
And got hitched!

wow!

on a lesser note:
I got my wisdom teeth out
Had my cell phone stolen
Turned 20
Went to Idaho and Arizona
moved apts

So since I've been married a number of people have asked me sarcastically if I was going to start a blog about how cute my husband is. And I responded "NO! HA! not me! never! HA!" well, here I go..

i cave

It's hard not to when, seriously, you DO have the cutest husband ever! So, I am going to try and not force his cuteness on you, and this will be the last time I call him cute(on this blog).. but know that if I randomly tell stories about him, know that I am trying to convince you that he is, in fact, the most adorable married man you have ever met/heard of/live on the same earth as.

So yesterday at lunch time, Jeremiah and I were home scrounging thru the pounds of sugar wedding food in search for some nutrition. When none magically appeared I excitedly remembered that I had some Pizza Rolls in the freezer which I had bought a month earlier on sale at Smiths as a splurge. My mouth started watering as I thought of eating the fake meat, cheese substitute, and bleached carb combination. I turned to Jeremiah in a frenzy and exclaimed my pure passion for my discovery, only for him to reply with frowns, healthiness, and hatred towards a little piece of heaven that he had never before partook. But I wouldn't let his negitivity bog me down, and proceeded to bake my golden nuggets in the oven(on a stone, of course!). Distraught, Jeremiah settled for a pop-tart. As I began to partake of the extacy wrapped in synthetic death, my vision became blurred from the happiness I was experiencing so I did not notice that my loves were being stolen and eaten and enjoyed by none other than their harshest critic: Jeremiah!!

and I want to puplically say: I told you so.

The Adventures of Jerry and Danielle

The other night Jeremiah and I decided we wanted to get out of our socially intense apartment complex and just have some not so intense time to ourselves. I grabbed a deck of cards and we hopped into Jeremiah's souped up mexi-car. We parked on some mountain and were going to go on an adventure, but it was too dark and we were both wearing flip-flops(well, we were both wearing MY flip-flops, but that is a story for another day) so we opted to just sit in the car and play speed. After many failed attempts to get the cards to not slide around, we got distracted and started talking.
Now, mind you, we were on top of a dark mountain about 10 minutes away from campus, so you can imagine that there was the occasional passer-by-er. And me, being the jumpy freak I am, would jump everytime I heard/saw another human being(crazy! i know.) Of course, Jeremiah just lives to see me squirm and encourages it frequently. And this night was not an exception: there was much prodding and scaring on Jerry's part, and much screaming, jumping, hitting, and spitting on my part.
Being scared aside, the night was going well. Jerry was telling me about his mission and worm-selling business, and I was telling him about how I ruin peoples lives. Good Conversation. At some point Jeremiah's eyes get all big as he looks right past my head. "Danielle, get out of the car on my side," says Jerry.
"You're not scaring me this time! I hear people outside but I'm not scared."
"Please just get out of the car. You'll thank me."
Despite my unwillingness, I decided to trust him and get out of the car. Jerry then proceeds to tell me that he saw a mouse inside the car where the seatbelt comes out.
A Mouse. In A Car.
Being the sensitive person I am, I started to tell Jerry that he was crazy, and that he had mistaken a shadow or my hair as a rodent. After inspecting his car and playing with shadows, Jerry was convinced that he in fact was crazy, and was just seeing things.
We got our bodies back inside the warm car to again reminisce about our childhoods. Of course there was not always noise coming out of our mouths(pretty surprising, since I was part of the conversation) which made for good down time to gaze into each other's eyes, or as Nate calls it, laser beaming each other. During one of these quiet, brief moments while I was contemplating the meaning of life I heard a ..
"squeek squeek"
accompanied by a scuffling of feet!
You can imagine the chaos! We both screamed like little girls as we desperately struggled to escape the rodent infested vehicle! Of course I said sorry roughly a million times for accusing Jerry of being crazy. After a little more shuddering and such, we set out on our mission to de-mousify Jerry's mexi-car.
You should have seen this mouse!! I would venture to say that if this mouse was able to swim, it would be the Michael Phelps of all mice. It would hop and run at top speeds, he was like a flash of light!, and hence, impossible to catch. After about a half hour Jeremiah finally swept the amphibian mouse out of the car with his(aka: MY) flip-flop.

Moral of the story: If your boyfriend tells you there is a mouse in his car: Believe him.

"Sorry about the mess guys.."

On my walk to work today I noticed a police car. It just so happened that my path allowed me to be very close to said vehicle. So what did I do? What any normal U.S. citizen would do: look inside. I have never been inside a cop car, of course, so the idea intrigues me.

Now, this wasn't my first experience peeking inside a police car so I pretty much knew what to expect: the dividing grid, radar gun, steering wheel, donuts.. you know, the norm. So I immediately noticed that this car was a little different. In addition to having a divider between the back and front of the car, there was a divider between the two back seats, making 2 little human cages. But this is not what caught me off guard.

What astonished me was that these human cages were filled with crap. It looked like the back of a normal college car. There were stacks of papers, empty pop bottles, sweaters, and a halfway-buried radar gun.

I noticed that my feet had stopped moving and that my mouth was a little agape. My first thought was "is there really zero crime in Provo, which allows this officer to leave his car incapable of transporting criminals?"

Can you imagine what is going to happen when that officer finally has to put someone in the back of his car?
"Sorry it's so messy.. Let me just stick some of this in my trunk.. I swear it was clean a few days ago, I have been so busy.. Just move whatever you need to, I don't mind." And he says all this with that typical embarrassed tone that we've all heard while piling into a friend's car.

o, provo police.

I love life. Period.

A recent conversations had over a pie tin of Skyline chili dip:

Jerry: Did you know there was a woman who thought she was pregnant, but it ended up just being a tumor?
Audrey, Dave, Me: Wow, that is crazy, poor lady!!, nervous laughter
Me: I dont get it... wouldn't she have known she wasn't pregnant? I mean she would have still had her period and stuff.
Audrey: Well there are rare cases where you still have your period.
Me: Really?!?! That sucks. That is like the only reason I want to get pregnant.
Audrey: You know they have pills for that kind of stuff. You can go four months without a cycle.

awkward pause

Jerry(to Dave): So what's your favorite car?
Dave: Something with a lot of horsepower. Something really manly.