Before I ever was pregnant I didn't have many opinions about childbirth. Despite my mother giving birth to all four of us kids naturally, I thought getting an epidural wouldn't be too big of a deal. But again, I really hadn't put really any thought to it.
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| The day we found out I was pregnant. The photographer didn't know. :) |
A few months into pregnancy I decided that I wanted go to natural. I would think about this tiny baby inside of me who I already loved so much and I thought, "Why would I not want to really experience bringing this baby into the world?" It was a quick and uncomplicated decision, but as soon as I made it, I knew it was right, and I was so excited.
I was really private about my decision. I didn't want praise or disappointment. I didn't care what other people thought. I wasn't doing it for them. This was for me, my baby, and my husband to experience.
I did, however, have two really interesting experiences with two different labor/delivery nurses who attended my church. Since they were nurses, I felt comfortable telling them my birth plan when they asked me about it. When I told the first my plan she jumped for joy! She was so excited for me. She told me that I was strong and that I wouldn't regret my decision. She told me I could do it. The second nurse scolded me. She had the most serious look on her face and said, "You know, they created the epidural for a reason. You aren't being realistic if you don't get it." I was a little shocked at that conversation. But I was more determined than ever that I would be an active participant in my daughter's birth.
A month before my due date I was showing no progress towards giving birth. I wasn't too surprised by this because my mom was weeks late with all of her babies, except for me, her last, and I came right on my due date. (See mom, I AM perfect.) But then the real kicker came when the doctor told me that if I was a week overdue they would have to induce me. I asked if I could maybe go a little longer to see if the baby would go on her own and the doctor told me that I would become a liability and they would not deliver the baby. I was so sad to hear this. I knew that inducing labor made further medical interventions much more likely.
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| At 40 weeks, 5 days. |
I knew I was going to be induced. I never felt one single contraction. I think I was 3 cm and 70% effaced at my 40 week appointment.
The night before my induction, my mother flew in. I was so happy to have her there. The hospital called and told me that I was scheduled to come in at 5:30 the next morning. I remember trying to go to sleep was so hard. I had been getting really poor sleep for the the last month of my pregnancy and I was starting to retain a lot of water. I remember just feeling so excited to know that withing hours I would meet my daughter. I kept on imagining what her face would look like. I just wanted her to be cute! I told Jerry that if she was ugly and people told me she was cute I would say, "You don't have to lie to me! I can see!"
The morning of my induction came. I ate a fried egg and piece of toast. Jerry gave me a beautiful priesthood blessing. It was so surreal to leave my apartment knowing that the next time I stepped inside, it would be with a baby. My baby. That came out of my body.
...to be continued...
